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Grief can be excruciating- and I think that the vast majority of us are aware of this. Losing a loved one has to be the hardest price we have to pay for love. And it’s so important that we allow ourselves to fully empty the grief that can heavily weigh us down- no matter how long that may takes us.
So cry as much (and as hard) as you need to. Letting out any emotions that are no longer serving you on the inside is one of the most cleansing things you can do for your soul.

Your grief may never leave you, but the sadness can and does soften over time. And it’s true that they are only a thought away; every time you remember them and reflect on the special role they had in your life, you are keeping your loved one’s spirit alive.


Their birthdays, memorials and such dates don’t have to be entirely tinged with sadness- they can also be the perfect opportunity for us to build our connection to the spirit world- a gift that is buried within each and every one of us if we choose to use it.

 With that in mind, please read below for a list of ideas to help you commemorate your loved one in spirit; along with my tried and tested methods for expanding your consciousness to connect with the Higher Realms.  

It’s time to bridge the gap between you and your loved one, and find relief in the soul’s continual existence…

Light a candle…

Image by Carolyn V

Spirit are drawn to candles like moths to a flame! By simply lighting a candle that you dedicate to your loved one, you are giving them the perfect space to connect more easily with you. Spirit have the ability to communicate with you through candle-gazing. This is a wonderful technique that can be carried out to help you raise your vibration, as well as helping along the process of spirit meeting you half way, so to speak! They can communicate this way by manipulating the atmosphere around and within the flame- sometimes in reaction to your thoughts and words!

Simply gaze at the flame of the candle- particularly at the very tip of the wick. Ensure you are not staring too intently; relax your eyes as much as possible whilst you do this.

Begin to notice how the flame moves…

Does it stop suddenly when a certain thought pops in your head? Does the flame flicker wildly, as though someone is trying to get your attention?

Remember, all you need to do is relax your body and your mind and trust that spirit will do the rest!

Make their signature dish…


Cooking and/or baking is probably a memory we all have with our family and friends- and quite possibly some of the dearest memories too.
I often feel my Nanna’s spirit around me in the kitchen, working alongside me; especially when I am trying to recreate one of her famous roast dinners!

Relive your memories by getting in the kitchen and cooking up a storm! By doing this, you are creating the perfect vibe for connecting with your loved ones and feeling their energy; as well as enjoying the taste of their favourite foods too! Win-win!


Image by Simon Rae

Meditation really is the answer to ev-er-y-thin-g! There’s just such a wide range of things you can meditate to that can help you reach your desired state. And one of my favourite kinds is connecting with spirit!

These are the types of meditations that got the ball rolling for me when I began exploring my spiritual side, and its benefits then naturally overflowed in other areas of my life too.

Clearly setting your intention before meditation increases the likelihood of a successful encounter with spirit. So consider saying a little prayer- asking your loved one to draw close and for them to give you signs that they are around.

Listen to their favourite songs...

Record Player Station

There are ENDLESS ways that spirit will try and communicate with us; their special song coming on the radio, lyrics that seem to be talking directly to you, an instant mood-booster of a tune just when you need it!

So take a comfy seat, play the songs that connect you with your loved one and feel the vibrations of the music resonate with your soul. Let the memories that naturally flood your senses when listening to music seep into your every pour.

Nothing beats this technique for me personally; getting a connection with a loved one seems to work every single time this way! And if not, it at least gives me the opportunity to reminisce on some of my happiest memories once again.

Have a drink…


There is no such thing as time in the afterlife- they vibrate in the here and now. And taste is an amazing sense that can instantly connect us to the present moment- which also happens to be the most auspicious time for a stronger connection with spirit!

So pour yourself a drink- but more specifically, make it one of their favourite drinks! Whether that be a whisky, a cup of tea or even a glass of Ribena; whatever makes you instantly remember your loved one.

Then savour it.

Imagine putting yourself in their shoes, and taste that drink with a new curiosity- try to feel what they would have felt when enjoying their favourite beverage!  

Talk about them…

Image by Aarón Blanco Tejedor

Can you can feel a slight buzz in the air when you chat about your loved one? Despite how much grief your heart may be carrying, do you manage to smile- or even laugh? Spirit LOVE to hear you talking about the days gone by- they naturally draw closer when you begin to reminisce, and rejoice in your every word.

That everlasting love that you feel when you talk of these treasured memories is the essence of which spirit is made from.

Why not call a friend or family member who were also fortunate enough to share parts of their lives with this special person? Talk about all the fun, happy times, and see if there any other stories they have that you don’t yet know of!

Talk TO them...

Image by Miguel Bruna

This can be out-loud or in your head; either way, they are hearing you loud and clear! Some people like to do this at their plot at the cemetery, some like to talk to the stars and imagine their loved one shining down upon them... No way is wrong, just as long as you feel you can open up to them.

Notice any emotions you begin to feel, or any random images or memories that pop up in your mind whilst your doing this; this can be spirits way of communicating back with you.

Write them a letter…

Image by Debby Hudson

This works especially well if you put pen to paper on this one. Physically writing brings the creative side of the brain into action- the part which is responsible for working with spirit.

In the words of Elsa, ‘Let. It. Go!

Get out of that comfort zone, and write like you’ve just found an address you can post to on the other side. Say all the things you wish you could have said before they left this human existence.

This is not the time to worry about how your wording sounds or whether you have spelled something correctly- write as freely as a child would! By losing your inhibitions, you are opening up your heart chakra, which in turn allows for the perfect connection with your loved one.

Get out the old photos…


We never stop learning in this life- and undoubtedly in the next ones too! We discover parts of ourselves we didn’t even know existed; new likes, new hobbies, new interests… This is also true in regards to the people we have shared parts of our lives with.…

Dust off your old photos and enjoy looking back on some of your favourite memories. Really study them, and see if you can notice anything you hadn’t noticed in previous years that might give you some more insight into the character of them.

By doing this, you will be connecting your spirits together once again and growing on that ever-growing bond you both share.

Create a space of remembrance…


This can be as simple as displaying their picture in your home, or even dedicating a section of your garden to lay flowers or decorations. It is essentially somewhere you can pause for a moment or two, and can be especially helpful on those particular dates that tend to stir up your grief.

Nature connects you with spirit so intricately too, so you could plant their favourite flower and use it as a visual reminder of them.

I particularly liked how my Mum put down balloons in her garden for what would have been my Grandad’s 90th birthday… (also the day I was guided to write this very post!)

No matter how big or how small you go, this outward expression of love will not go unnoticed by your loved one.

I hope this advice has given you some guidance, or even just a little comfort in knowing the soul of your loved one never leaves you. If you need any further insight with any of the ideas above, please do get in touch with us and we will be happy to help.

*We highly advise that any time you are trying to communicate with spirit, you keep yourself safe. An opening prayer and closing prayer are both vital to carry out to protect you before, during and after your attempts to connect with the spirit Realm. We have an example you can use HERE, if you wish. Or simply search for protection prayers online if you would prefer to use something a bit more personal to your own preferences.

Stay safe everybody- mind, body and soul!

Love & Light,

Mellissa xXx

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